I've been reading alot of marriage books lately. Wonderful books.
Love That Lasts (Lundberg), All Moms Go To Heaven, Behind Every Good Man (John Bytheway), and most recently... Strangling Your Husband Is Not An Option (Thanks Mom & Dad Banks!)
All of them were very uplifting, good books. A few things I implemented immmediately.
And the rest I turned into a list of all the things the "experts" advise us to do to keep a happy life and marriage.
From flirting with your husband to allowing guy time. From keeping the house clean, to dressing nice and putting on makeup every day. I'm sorry, but HOLLY HANNAH! How in the world to they keep up with all this stuff, and still have money for food and spend time with their children just being kids? Date nights and personal days and weekend get aways... nice clothes, manicures (yes they mentioned that specifically), hair salons... Super nice dinners at home, college courses, home decorating, family pictures, kids kids and more kids...
They had wonderful ideas on how to save a little on this, that or the other thing, but it all takes time... lots of time. Sorry, but they only gave me 24 hours each day. They themselves emphasized sleep and naps, where does the playing and cleaning come in then?
What really got my dander up (one of many things but the easiest to see) is when they said that by NOT doing all these things it showed that my husband/self/family wasn't priority. I'm sorry, but I'm not the one that hasn't given me a chance to shower in over a week. My husband wants me to look/smell nice, he's gonna have to take the kids for 5 minutes and let me do it- same goes with alot of other things. Somehow I've found time to do better on getting the house clean, keeping up with dirty laundry (clean still escapes me) and getting dishes done. But I've noticed a marked decrease in the playtime I get to spend with the kids. Now add in time I'm supposed to spend on myself- who's watching this boys, the dog?
How do I get all of it squished in? And achieve that imaginary balance that will make my life wonderful and happy?
Right now, 10:30 at night, the kids are refusing bed, there are toys on the floor, dishes in the sink, the stairs and under couches are BEGGING to be vaccumed and I STINK. I don't know about them, but I know MY priorities here...
Thank you for letting me get that out. Now I'm done. G'night.
Beautiful Light Blue Plaid Flannel Shirt
7 years ago
Tiffiny, that was hilarious. Manicures? Seriously? Derrick could care less how my finger nails looked!
ReplyDeleteDays seriously need to be 36 hours long, I'd vote on that one. I just can't get everything done that I want to do either. You can't have a PERFECTLY clean house and spend quality time with your kids. Something has to give into a compromise. On the days that I do major cleaning, the kids end up playing by themselves (which is fine, they get along great) or watching more movies than I feel comfortable with. So there's lots of give and take.
Thanks for that post!
Oh, I feel so sorry for you. Those books can make you feel so guilty. I just figure, my kids are happy I will be fine. I also count reading books as me time so even if they are all over me I feel a little better.
ReplyDeleteCan you imagine making this candlelit picnic dinner for your husband on the living room floor? I think that is my favorite. Because I am sure the guy really loves it seeing as they are always begging to have a picnic and all.
As for free time. We should swap kids every so often so you can do whatever you want in peace (like shower) I am sure the kids will love it. Wow I just looked at this comment and it is forever long. Sorry.
All self help books are good for a little bit of this and that.... trust me girl, they are not describing what we could actually be. They are giving us ideas that might help us handle who we really are. They are just IDEAS, they themselves probably look a lot less like the women they describe, and are actually a lot stinkier than we can imagine. I let go of becoming the ideal woman/ wife/ mother, long ago and I just do the best I can and stay true myself, the one God loves.... and I know He will make up for the rest.
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