I had a mini epiphany today.
The more I meet people I knew as a teen, the more I realize why moving "home" is so tough.
My 10 year reunion that went on last summer w/o me got me thinking the same way-
Out we go into the world, to 'make something of ourselves'. By the world's standards, I might have been too young or barefoot & pregnant. But Brett & I were working toward eternity, not acclaim. But when you're facing the scrutiny and worldly critique of peers and past, we still want their respect & envy- just a little bit. Or, thinking back on old crushes, maybe a lot a bit.
But as I answered pointed questions as vaguely as possible, part of me wanted to shake them and say, "I had it! Don't assume or guess on my 'success' by what you think you see right now."
Other times I've been up front with my situation, and the awkward silences and embarrassed and pitying looks that follow are just as frustrating.
I think that'll be one of my challenges, overcoming the single mom stereotype and getting over the silly desire for others to see and admire my accomplishments (as minor as others might think them).
Beautiful Light Blue Plaid Flannel Shirt
7 years ago
I can only imagine what my "home town" would think of where I am now. I think building and investing into little ones is the COOLEST and most important job possible. In fact if all of those "successful" folks out there would just quit their jobs and stay home to truly care for their families the world would be a better place for sure. You're a part of that my dear :)
ReplyDeleteIt's good to see you back blogging again :-) Maybe I can follow suit.
ReplyDeleteI guess everyone needs to gawk and stare and assume they are right as they base their opinion of you on their life.
Time to think of your graduating class in the same light as your pre-school class. You've moved on, even if some of them haven't. You have more important assignments to focus on. Find some good study partners and a new crew to associate with.
You've been sealed, you'll never truly be a 'single-mom', just wish he wasn't away so long.
Oh, the reunion. While it was nice to see the people we'd grown into, it was also clear how different we had become. Any one-upping or judgments were undermined by the strangeness of it all; we had known each other at one point, but it was mostly a room full of strangers, connected by thin threads to a time in our lives that I think we all are relieved is over.
ReplyDeleteGlad to have an opportunity to read about what you've been up to all these years. I'm saddened and moved by your posts.
Wishing you and your adorable kidlets all the best.